Dharma & Greg
The pretense that everything is fine with Greg's parents finally proves too much for Dharma, who snaps during dinner at a Chinese restaurant and has the bad news served to Greg in a fortune cookie (to the absorbed interest of the Chinese family sharing their table). Trying to help the Montgomery's non-existent sex life, Dharma takes Kitty to her local neighborhood erotica store, where they naturally run into Abby and Larry. Greg and Pete take Edward for a drink to commiserate, and Edward demonstrates his ace in pick-up lines: ""Excuse me, young lady, do you have change for a million?"" Meanwhile, Jane has gone off to a Star Trek convention (""I like middle-aged men who are virgins""), leaving her pet Mr. Boots with Dharma and Greg; but Greg freaks out when he discovers that Mr. Boots is not exactly a cat.
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